Hermione's Totally Accidental Time-Traveling Mishap
by MegGonagall
Summary: *Written for BellaLestrange87's Parody Challenge at HPFanficTalk dot com* Due to an accident in Potion's class, Hermione Granger finds herself thrust back into the past. Will she find herself falling for someone unexpected? Of course she will, otherwise it wouldn't be a Time-Travel story.
1. The Totally Accidental Potions Mishap

Hermione Granger, who was the most brilliant and powerful witch the world had ever seen, and could do silent wandless magic in her sleep (better than Dumbledore himself, yet she couldn't figure out a way to tame her wildly crazy mane of bushy brown hair), whispered the correct instructions to Neville during their seventh year potions class. Because of her unparalleled brilliance, she always had to help the hopeless case that was Neville Longbottom. Otherwise, he may have ended up brewing some concoction that could possibly blow up, land all over her, and somehow send her tumbling back in time twenty years.

As she hastily muttered the steps under her breath, she heard someone clear their throat. When she glanced up, she saw their surly, bullying, sneering, potions professor scowling down at her. His hair was quite greasy, his expression was quite mean, and he was, as always, dressed in billowing black robes. Which made everyone refer to him as ' _the bat of the dungeons_.' He really was a bit awful, and Hermione definitely understood why he was single. How could anyone ever love someone who had been so horrible to her and her friends the way he had been.

"Miss Granger, 175 points from Gryffindor for helping Longbottom, as I've explicitly ordered you _not_ to do all year," he sneered. Professor Snape always sneered. He did not ever have any other expression except for sneering.

Hermione's cheeks were as hot as one thousand suns, as was normally the case when a perfect student such as herself was scolded by a professor.

Just as she was about to respond, Neville's cauldron began to burp and bubble. Hermione, Neville and Snape's eyes all went rounder than a bludger as they watched. Suddenly the potion erupted with gusto, and coincidentally, Hermione ended up being the only person in the entire class who had the misfortune of being covered in the silver gunk which had come out of it.

Mysteriously the accident knocked Hermione unconscious and out of her seat, and after a few moments she began to come to. Three young male voices sounded out around her, each sounding more worried about her condition rather than the fact that she had appeared, quite literally out of thin air. Two voices were vaguely familiar, yet her exceptionally brilliant mind could not figure out why they would be at school, when they were both adults - one who was supposed to be hiding in Grimmauld Place.

When she opened her eyes, she knew she must have imagined the two familiar voices, since her best friend was standing right over her.

"Harry?" Hermione croaked as she squinted her eyes.

As the boy came into focus, immediately she realized Harry's eyes were not his signature bottle green, and there was no scar on his head. The only rational conclusion was that this was James Potter, Harry's dead father.

She looked at the other boys and saw a muscular, model-like handsome, and much younger Sirius Black cockily smirking down at her, with sex appeal just oozing off of him like mad. Then a sandy-haired teenaged Remus Lupin was staring, looking meek and shy, with his brow furrowed in concern to Sirius' right. Her body shuddered when she noticed a little, chubby, blonde Peter Pettigrew whimpering slightly behind the other boys, like the coward and background friend she'd known that he was.

It seemed that Neville's potion _did_ indeed send her toppling into the past. "This is not possible," she whispered and began to feel dizzy.

All four boys registered the same amount of shock on their faces, like they were quadruplets.

Everything faded and Hermione fainted once more.

ooo

 _A/N - This fic is written in response to a Parody challenge. It will be ridiculous and filled with clichés galore! It's no secret that I'm a huge fan of time-travel fics, but it's good to make fun of yourself sometimes. ;)_


	2. When Hermione Becomes Totally Gorgeous

Hermione's eyes fluttered opened, and six concerned faces were circled around, looking down upon her as if she was an old friend, rather than some strange person who had materialized into the Potions classroom that morning. She rested on top of a bed in the Hospital Wing and noticed she was the only patient in the room, which was mighty convenient. Her focus came back to the crowd surrounding her, and realized the new additions to the group were, Professor Dumbledore (who for being twenty years younger still looked exactly the same. Each grey hair and wrinkle completely unchanged), Madam Pomfrey (who obviously looked much younger), and Professor McGonagall (who had darker hair and, as per usual, her lips pressed firmly into a thin line. They were always pressed into a thin line).

"How - how did I get here?" Hermione asked.

Sirius puffed his chest out, and flashed her a perfectly straight set of blinding white teeth. They were so blinding that Hermione had to shield her eyes.

" _I_ carried you here, of course," he announced and winked. Which earned an inappropriate comment from James Potter for comedic relief, which shockingly his professors and the medi-witch seemed to ignore. That comment would have landed her in detention and lost points for Gryffindor in her time, she thought.

As Hermione slowly sat up, Peter faded into the background - where he belonged, and the rest of the people around her remained, looking concerned for her well being, yet also confused about her being there.

Uncharacteristically, Madam Pomfrey appeared to have no problem with the crowd of people around her bedside, when Hermione had always known her to be more strict and professional when it came to the care of her patients. It seemed that twenty years prior to when Hermione had known her, she was a completely different person.

After Pomfrey checked Hermione over with her wand, and announced that there did not seem to be any internal injuries, Dumbledore addressed the four young men.

"I must ask that you all leave our mysterious new visitor for the time being," he ordered with a twinkle in his blue eyes. His eyes always twinkled.

Sirius and James whined in protest, yet Remus - always the voice of reason, stifled them both while profusely apologizing to Professor Dumbledore for his friends' behavior, then led them away from Hermione, with Peter trembling behind.

When the room was cleared, save for Hermione, McGonagall, Pomfrey and Dumbledore, Professor Dumbledore twinkled his eyes towards Hermione.

"Sir," she began, her face was glowing it was so red. "I know this may be difficult to believe, but I think I've been sent twenty or so years into the past."

McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey's mouths both popped wide opened, which made them look like fish out of water. Professor Dumbledore, however looked into her mind, without permission, which Hermione found to be extraordinarily rude.

She saw the memories that he had sifted through, and she knew that he would realize she spoke the truth. Honestly she wasn't worried anyhow, because Dumbledore in his almighty Dumbledore-ness always knew everything, like the omnipresent being that he was.

When he withdrew from her mind, he turned to the two women.

"Minerva, Poppy, the girl speaks the truth," he told them.

They accepted what Dumbledore had told them immediately, because no one ever dared to question if the headmaster was mistaken. Everyone trusted him so completely, that it was almost to the point of foolishness.

After a few moments of taking in the news, Dumbledore sent McGonagall and Pomfrey away, so he could speak with Hermione privately, since Dumbledore preferred secrecy when it came to important issues that others could possibly help with, if they had been given the chance.

Then they began to discuss Hermione's options, and what her cover would be for arriving to Hogwarts out of nowhere, and decided she would be labeled as a transfer student. Which did not make much sense to Hermione, since there had never been a recorded case of a student transferring to Hogwarts. Also considering that it may have been safer for her, and for the future, if they had placed her into hiding, rather than allow her to pose as a student, interact with people of the past, and potentially cause a time paradox that would never be explained. Yet she went along with it regardless, due to that blind trust in Dumbledore.

When they were attempting to sort out a name for her, Dumbledore had come up with a suggestion.

With a coy smile, and a twinkle in his eye, he said, "We may as well smash down that fourth wall and give you the surname of _Watson_ whilst you are here."

The old man was bonkers, Hermione did not understand.

Her left eyebrow arched high on her forehead. "Fourth wall, sir?"

Dumbledore laughed quietly and waved her off. "It is of no matter, my dear."

After which they settled on changing Hermione's entire appearance, to make her unrecognizable if she were ever to return home.

He waved his wand through the air, making circular motions and figure eights. Hermione felt her legs grow longer, her hips grow wider, her lips fuller, her waist narrower, her hair no longer bushy, longer and more full, and her nose thinner and straighter. She stood up from her bed, and looked at herself in a full length mirror; she was barely recognizable. Hermione had become runway gorgeous, and she felt her attitude shift with her new look. She felt sassier, and more confident, which she was sure would cause her to act quite out of character, of course.

Lastly she was placed into Gryffindor, and discovered that the blokes who had first found her would also be Gryffindor seventh years. To imagine the luck of being sent back in time to where she was the exact age of the people she had known as adults in the future!

Before she was sent on her way, she had one last question.

"Sir, will I ever be able to return home?" she asked with a lump in her throat.

Professor Dumbledore's eyes twinkled, as always.

"We shall see what happens after you've been here a few months and make meaningful relationships," he told her with an ominous tone.

Hermione nodded, and sashayed out of the Hospital Wing, since she decided her new look needed a sultry new walk.

ooo  
 _A/N - I hope you enjoyed the ridiculousness of this chapter lol. Thanks so much to my bffsoulsisterbraintwinfrandfellowsnakeandhornedserpent Em for looking this chapter over! Emmett appreciates it and adores you!_


	3. She is Totally Accepted Into the Group

As Hermione glided through the corridors, making her way to Gryffindor tower, she saw someone walking towards her. Greasy hair, large hooked nose, and an intense scowl on his face - she recognized Snape immediately. How strange it was that the only students she had run into, within her first few hours, were people she'd known.

When he seemed to have noticed her, his scowl smoothed out and his eyes went wide, before he rearranged his expression back into the unfriendly, cruel mask he seemed incapable of removing. She imagined that momentary expression of surprise was due to her new found stunning beauty.

Although, this younger version of Severus Snape looked quite different than the man she had known. He was more brooding and handsome, and she was already sure that if she wasn't careful, she may end up fancying the dark boy before her.

Everyone was so attractive in the past, she found herself thinking.

As they drew closer to one another, Hermione offered an award winning smile. "Hello," she said brightly.

He stopped and gave her a once over, and nodded subtly, as if he approved of what he saw. "Who the hell are you?" he sneered. Apparently just like when he was older, the younger Snape seemed partial to sneering as well.

Hermione held out her hand, yet it was in vain, Snape merely snorted at her, so she slowly drew it back. "I'm Hermione Watson, a transfer," she explained.

To her surprise, Snape did not question her about being a transfer student, and seemed to take her at her word (again, considering there had _never_ been a case of a student transferring to Hogwarts).

With his scowl still firmly in place, his lip curled. "What house are you in?"

Because that was important information about a person, after all.

"Gryffindor," she responded, standing up straight with pride radiating off of her.

Snape let out a humorless laugh. "We'll never be friends," he told her, before swiftly walking away.

Hermione arched an eyebrow, it was her signature expression. _Hmm…a challenge_ , she thought as she watched him flap away, very reminiscent to the way he did as an adult. Hermione could never turn down a challenge. It was now her number one goal to befriend him, no matter what the consequences might have been.

When she arrived into the Gryffindor common room, she was welcomed by the four boys who had originally found her, and also an angelic looking, unrealistically beautiful redhead - Lily Potter, she realized.

Even though Hermione had looked drastically different than she had when she first appeared in the past, none of the boys questioned it, or seemed to notice. They all knew it was Hermione at once, and converged on her, all shouting at the same time.

"Hermione! We're so glad you're alright!" exclaimed James.

"No one that beautiful should spend her first day in the Hospital Wing," purred Sirius, as he draped his muscular arm around her shoulders, acting as if she was already his.

"Come sit with us," Remus suggested, as they towed her towards the couch and armchairs in front of the fireplace.

Peter's mouth opened, as if he was about to say something, but did not have the chance. He then quietly melted into the background of everyone there.

Lily walked over, almost floating she was so graceful, and immediately hugged her like they were old friends. When she pulled back, Hermione almost fainted again, upon seeing the familiar bottle-green eyes of her best friend resting in his young mother's face. Harry's eyes. The young woman truly had the same exact eyes as Harry. If you covered all of her face, except for her eyes, it would be like looking at Harry Potter. He had his mother's eyes.

"The boys told me all about what happened to you, you poor thing," she said in a motherly voice. Quite odd coming from a seventeen year old girl.

When they all sat down, Sirius sat down next to her, a little too close, and again wrapped his drool-worthy toned arm around her. The old Hermione would not have been comfortable with his forwardness, but since he was basically an Adonis, with charm for days, she let it go.

Remus sat on the other side of her, but made sure to keep his distance. Almost like he felt he wasn't worthy of direct human contact. Obviously she knew it was because of his lycanthropy. She wondered what kind of thinly veiled excuse she could come up with later to let him know that she was aware of his secret.

James was sat in the armchair across from Lily, and gazed upon her with hearts in his eyes. Literally, the irises of James Potters' eyes transfigured into tiny heart shapes. Hermione thought he ought to have that looked at.

Lily scoffed when she saw the way James was watching her.

"James, I've already made it clear that I am not interested. So please remove the hearts from your eyes," she scolded.

James then went on to tell Lily that it was only a matter of time before she changed her mind. He told her to give it another three and a half months, which was strange that he was so specific on the timeline.

Peter was...well it didn't matter where Peter was. All pretended as if he wasn't even there. He was irrelevant to their little bubble.

Hermione sat and chatted with her new housemates for a long time that day, and it was clear that everyone had immediately loved her and wanted her to join their group of friends without question. In no time at all, she was sure they'd consider her a fifth Marauder.

Obviously that would make befriending Severus Snape difficult. Hermione was up to the challenge. Already she was having a hard time keeping the sulking boy from her thoughts, and in a matter of a few hours, Ron was completely out of the picture.

ooo

 _A/N- EM! Thank you for looking this chapter over, too! Your comments are hilarious, and I totally (haha) appreciate all the love and support! Emmett is filled with love!_

And thank you to everyone who has been reading and reviewing! It's my first time dabbling with parody, so I'm hoping it comes out alright. :)


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